Sunday, 18 November 2012

PCC denies using election gimmick


Newly elected Police and Crime Commissioner Eric Sidebottom has denied taking advantage of charity moustache growers during ‘Movember’ to boost his support at the polls. 

Commissioner Sidebottom had stood on a platform of promising more ‘Bobbies on the beat with moustaches’ but his opponents have accused him of blatant opportunism as many police officers already grow moustaches during the month of November, making it easy for him to keep his pledge. 

After recieving 132 votes in his landslide victory the former Labour MP said
‘My pledge is for the next four years not just for one month. As a young lad I would be playing out in the street with my friends when our local bobby would walk by and smack us round the head with his leather gloves for no apparent reason. He had a fine handle bar moustache and had a smell about him that was a combination of Old Spice aftershave and stale beer, which we all found very reassuring’. 
 
 

Commissioner Sidebottom has also pledged to protect local policing teams and feels they are a traditional form of citizen focused policing that has stood the test of time. 

‘It is vital our communities are policed by officers they know and trust. I can also remember our local bobby letting me guard his helmet while he went upstairs to discuss neighbourhood policing with my mother’. 

There is also a lot of misunderstanding, which Commissioner Sidebottom is keen to clear up. 

‘Some young officers have only just had their balls drop so I would not expect them to have facial hair. What I am saying is that if officers can grow a moustache then they should.’ 

The controversial pledge has also drawn support from some unexpected quarters. 

 A spokesperson for the Spamford Association of Women in Policing said ‘Many of our members already have a moustache so we are quite comfortable with this initiative.’
 
 

 

 

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